TIGER’S AWESOME ADVENTURES IN THE GREATER LOS ANGELES AREA
Story by Hung Gwan lau
Staff Writer
Photos by Adrian Lopez
Staff Photographer
The Santa Monica Pier, although not part of our original plan, was a destination that we spontaneously landed on after mere seconds of decision-making. The pier is a beachside boardwalk with attractions including restaurants, a theme park, and vendors everywhere.
Originally, Adrian Lopez, Owen Hou in spirit, and I were planning on seeing the Los Angeles County Museum of Art to check out the new area they made recently. We set our sights on Downtown LA over the course of three different days, tossing around half-baked ideas on transportation with thoughts of hitchhiking, Ubering, and potentially flying or levitating. We eventually decided to take the Metro.
On a Wednesday afternoon, Adrian and I packed our bags, tied our shoes, and kissed our moms goodbye as we set off on our treacherous, grueling hiatus to the station.
We arrived at the Metro and entered the train, which was surprisingly empty and clean. The ride was smooth sailing; spirits were high, especially for our first article that we were entrusted with. Adrian had the bright idea to check our directions when he saw the opening times of the museum. Of course, the only day that the museum would be closed was the day we wanted to go.
Entering our first stage of grief, we called the museum with the slim hope that someone would be there waiting for us to answer the phone, but no response came. Questions immediately arose: “Why are they closed on a random Wednesday?”and “Why didn’t we check if it was closed before?” Thankfully, I had the brilliant idea to pivot and head to the Santa Monica Pier, since we were already on the way. So, we switched courses and entered the E-line to Santa Monica.
The pier entrance had us second-guessing on whether it was closed or not, since cranes were visible in the distance. We entered the pier on a sketchy, descending wooden platform that had two lines of people entering and exiting. Walking down the pier, we got completely sidetracked by a McDonald’s that looked to either be in construction, getting demolished, or renovated. As we turned the corner, however, it turned out to be a normal, furnished McDonald’s that just so happened to have an uninviting exterior.
Our first glimpse of the pier from the deck was pretty overwhelming, with crowds of people walking around the giant restaurants and vendors. Adrian’s first thought was, “This looks like GTA,” gazing at the convenient helicopter overhead to help justify his thought. The smell of seawater mixed with marijuana was definitely repulsive but, in a way, added to the “Wow, we really are at Santa Monica.”
We passed by endless rows of vendors selling photos, caricatures, keychains, anything remotely touristy. The restaurants felt exactly like the kind of food you would see at your average amusement park, consisting of burgers and fries, but came at triple the cost of the average meal. Alongside the boardwalk, we got to the miniature theme park the pier had, with its signature roller coaster and Ferris wheel.
The walk was generally uneventful until we came across a golden opportunity. An older lady with a stroller-like cart and a spotted cat on top of it, whom we had seen earlier, got into a full-blown insult battle with a middle-aged black male, and they were trading obscene words at each other. Intrigued, along with the handful of couples discreetly standing around, we gazed unsuspectingly at the horizon while eavesdropping on their not-so-subtle remarks.
Without missing a beat, I pulled out my phone to record this gem of an exchange for future reference. The two seemed to be performers of some sort since the lady had a microphone, which we assumed to be used for a vocalist, and the guy seemed to be a painter with a canvas. We made out their conflict through the occasional coherent words such as, “I was here,” “You’re late,” “Get out of here,” and more hurtful words, with the lady attempting to forcibly remove the man.
After they eventually settled down and left, we wanted the full picture, so we approached people who were generally in the area. We landed on two young men who helped clarify the situation. Apparently, the man was just leaving the area when the lady entered his space and tried to help put away his equipment, which eventually led to some kind of territorial dispute.
After our lovely encounter, we headed back to the other end of the pier to get another look at the theme park, where one man and his three kids rolled up to the middle of the boardwalk with a giant speaker blasting music. This gathered a big crowd, us included, and we were all intrigued by what was going on.
They went down the line with every kid performing some form of breakdancing paired with the hype music from the giant speaker. After each person went, they introduced themselves with their age and name.
They started their show, continuing with the hype music blasting the crowd. They got down fast, breakdancing with fast-paced flipping along with spinning on their backs and all sorts of moves with impressive control. Throughout their performance, they repeatedly asked for money and donations, explaining how they get paid through said donations.
Before ending their show, they proceeded to hit us with three minutes of panhandling for donations, with big trash bags. This unfortunately backfired on them, with about half the crowd leaving as the energy turned very awkward and almost felt like we were being guilt-tripped. I can’t complain though; no one can. It was a free show on the side of the pier.
Overall, we went into this experience with zero expectations, and ultimately had those expectations exceeded. Our hiatus had although been unexpected and scary, being turned on our backs was just the offset we needed to explore new territory. We rate the pier a solid 5.5/10.