Performative men poorly attempt to embody certain traits, many of which are feminist, in an attempt to garner attention from women.
Story by Leighton Kwok
Staff Writer
Photo by Helena Easterby
Photography Editor
The performative male archetype, widespread across social media, has been taking over the social space. Put simply, a performative male is a man who calculates what he believes women want in a man and, with self-serving intent, attempts to embody that completely.
Performative men can be seen wearing baby tees, treating their astrological birth chart as the gospel, listening to Beabadoobee, or swearing up and down that they read feminist literature. These are some of the many traits these men believe women connect with, relate to, and want in a man.
As lookalike contests continue to prosper worldwide, their range of themes has expanded into more and more niche territory. The self-explanatory Timothée Chalamet lookalike contests are beginning to evolve into broader, more abstract social media terms and aesthetics. These contests have never been all that serious, but rather have been considered a novel bucket list item that one might bring up whilst suffering through especially dry small talk. The new “it” event, performative male contests, is used as a way to create a bit of a spectacle online as well as to convince the people who live in Reddit threads to dress up and go out to a park for a chance to win a tiny prize.
Initially, this was a simple, lighthearted joke on social media, but it represents a much larger issue of how the media has begun to unintentionally normalize this behavior behind the veil of a silly contest.
Performative men balk at the idea of toxic masculinity, meaning aggressive behavior, dominance, and emotional suppression. In fact, they aim to embody the exact opposite traits. Cursing period cramps, stating Clairo is their number #1 artist on Spotify, and extolling the works of bell hooks, they cultivate a facade of sensitivity, empathy, and consistency. These ideals are created by pretending to understand women’s issues that they may not fully grasp. Performative men embody a fake personality to please an audience. These personas create relationships between men and women that are built on illusions predicated on preconceived notions of what a woman wants.
Personalities tailored just for the female gaze produce a never-ending problem of what is real and what is just an “aesthetic” more curated than the museums performative men pretend to go to.
Because of the widespread influence of social media, it is more common to see men engaging in conversations about feminism, equality, and emotional intelligence. As of now, men feel like it is a cool trend they can just “hop on.” On the surface, it seems like a win for the future, and in many ways, it is. But when engaging in conversations that become more performative than genuine, these men risk drowning out the very voices they are trying to boost.
Women’s empowerment has been a sore subject when it comes to performative men. They tend to believe that reading one Jane Austen novel will tell them all they need to know about women. In group discussions, these men are more likely to speak over women who try to voice their own opinions because they think they know better. This ultimately suppresses and undermines the thoughts and opinions of women. When men try to relate to women despite having limited knowledge of the female experience, they can unintentionally silence women’s voices and experiences.
There is nothing wrong with men enjoying things that are deemed feminine — go get that matcha, matcha lovers. However, it becomes an issue when there is an ulterior motive: namely, trying to attract women through false personality traits. And sometimes, it actually works, which is why performative men are dangerous. This is more than a funny meme or silly competition, but rather an overlooked version of sexism that needs to be stopped.