Galactic Suite Space Resort to open in 2012

Luka Douridas: Staff Writer

Imagine paying 4.4 million dollars for a three-night stay at a hotel. Now, before you make any judgments, let me add that it takes three days round trip to get there, and your stay is preceded by an two-month training course on a tropical island. I am sure the reader is probably curious as to what kind of hotel would designate such requirements, but the Galactic Suite Space Resort isn’t just any hotel. If the name hasn’t given it away already, this said resort, scheduled to open in 2012, is planned to orbit Earth. That’s right – a hotel in space. Guests would orbit around the world once every 80 minutes, and see the sun rise 15 times a day. Of course, the word “day” here becomes irrelevant – it’s confusing to even think about, I know.

Upon hearing this news, one would probably have many questions to ask. Who would pay for this? Is it safe? And how will they use the bathroom? Well, 43 very, very rich people have already booked a stay, and a further 200 have expressed interest. Regarding the fearful travelers, company director Xavier Claramunt has made sure that no guest will feel unsafe, as he plans to keep each hotel pod docked to a mothering station. “With this we create in the tourist a confidence that he hasn’t been abandoned,” tells Claramunt. As for the defecation processes, let’s just say that they already have it figured out – but far more glamorous is their proposed space spa. In it guests will be allowed to play with a 20-liter bubble of water as it divides, tickles, and cleans. Think of a giant, spherical lava lamp – with soap.

The doubtful traveler might also be concerned with boredom. Sure, space may seem incredibly exciting, but after three days, floating around and playing with bubbles might get a little boring. Your favorite board games – Connect Four, Jenga, and Mouse Trap – would all be useless in zero-gravity, while Hungry Hungry Hippos – my personal favorite – would likewise be a complete and total disaster.

So with these options unavailable, what will the space travelers do to pass the time? The aforementioned earth orbit and sunrise statistics would doubtless make way for some spectacular sights, which is why the Galactic Suite Space Resort is set to include in-flight video cameras, so you can capture your favorite views and send them home to your loved ones. Phones will also be available. And if you ever get tired of floating, you can always just stick to the walls using your Velcro suit.

Of course, there are other, more important things we may need to worry about. The excitement that comes with the idea of having a hotel in space dies down after considering the reality of the situation: Should we really make multi-billion dollar advances in space while we still have more important issues lingering back home? The $3 billion received from an anonymous space enthusiast, some may complain, might have been better off being spent towards the fight against poverty or the promotion of world peace. Needless to say, the carbon footprint of this project would be of unprecedented magnitude.

These issues, among others, should no doubt be kept in mind during the development of this space project, and should cause Mr. Claramunt to maybe think twice about how he intends to carry out his plans. One thing is for certain, however: The Galactic Suite Space Resort is, without a doubt, on track to be the most ambitious, unique, and spectacular vacationing experience on Earth.

Oh, wait…